A Death in the Family

Last week there was a death in the family. As I arrived for work, I learned that a well-liked employee had died by his own hand the night before. Our Alamo family was rocked by the news. Our friend and fellow employee was an outgoing and upbeat man who greeted you with a smile and a handshake. “What’s up, man? How’re you doing, sir?” He always had a smile, joke or a funny story, but those of us who worked with him, also knew him as a caring, compassionate man, someone you could talk to.

Many of us were unaware of his personal problems and the pain he was experiencing. His cheerful exterior gave no hint of the dark place in which he had fallen. Many felt guilt that if only they had known, if only they could have talked to him...he might still be with us. Others expressed anger and outrage at his shortsighted selfishness. How could he do this to his kids? Didn’t he think about them?

Having survived the dark side of divorce, I know the kind of anger, pain and darkness that can settle in and blind someone to the truth: that this too shall pass. When our lives seem so empty, so devoid of hope, our mind can convince us that there is only one way to find relief from the suffering. But, it is a lie. Unseen because of pain, we fail to realize the promise of new beginnings, a clean slate, a blank page on which to write the next chapter of our lives. We fail to embrace our pain, acknowledge it, learn from it...and let it go. Instead, we feel stuck, unable to move.

I was fortunate. I caught a glimpse of the other side of my pain. I trusted in the promise that everything would be okay. I survived the darkness and the pain to find a truly remarkable beginning that was better than okay.

We will miss you, Daniel. Via con Dios, Amigo!

FOOD for THOUGHT...