I’m a diabetic. I have accepted that fact, but for almost two years diet, exercise and medication have lowered and stabilized my blood sugar. My last two doctor visits have betrayed me with a steady increase, a rise in my average blood sugar readings. My A1C score (average over 90 days) went from 6.1 to 6.7, not alarming but a significant change. My current medication had lowered my A1C score to 6.0 from a score of 8.9 when I was first diagnosed. Now, my own Excel charts and graphs were showing an increase. My average blood sugar readings were starting to rise again.
An A1C score of 6.0 is considered normal. With that score, I believed I was normal again! With some effort, a change in lifestyle and medication I allowed myself to believe that I had a handle on this disease and perhaps it would just go away, disappear. What I had not accepted is that what I have is a real disease. It is a progressive disease and as my doctor pointed out to me, in my last visit, I will at some point need to consider changing my medication. He explained that medications lose their effectiveness over time. Diabetes affects not only blood sugar, but that, in turn, will eventually affect my kidneys and my heart. Medication, diet and exercise can help hold off this damage, but the disease and its effect on my body will always be there until the day I die. I had to understand that I was not normal. I was successfully fighting a chronic disease, a disease that won’t just go away some day.
I had also been experiencing the sensation of rapid heartbeats and palpitations since my last doctor visit, so he did an EKG on my heart and compared it against my base line EKG taken earlier. There was something that had changed so he gave me a referral to a cardiologist to check it out. My appointment will be in a few days. My doctor said it may be nothing. I have a strong heartbeat, but then again…it may be something. It may be something that will require more medication, more tests and more treatment. It may be something that will make me more dependent on medicine, doctors and the need to have insurance coverage to pay for it all. (Better not lose my job!) I don’t like feeling dependent.
I don’t like the idea of something being inevitable. I am struggling against this idea of something being out of my control. There is a part of me that believes each of us has the ability to heal ourselves. Our bodies have everything it needs to reverse our abuse, our illness and heal. I am struggling with my fears of what if… And yes, we are all going to die…someday…of something. We just don’t know…when or what. Still, I’m struggling with my fears. I want to believe that my heart is still healthy and strong! Part of me wants to know if it IS something and part of me does not. Part of me wants to just go on and not think about being vulnerable to this fragile shell that seems to crumble more and more with the passing of time.
When I was a child, the worst health concern I had was if I was going to get a shot at my next visit to the doctor. Now, I wonder what part of my body will betray me next. I wonder if my insurance will cover the cost of medicine, treatment or an operation. What will be the quality of my life? I am struggling here damn it!
But aren’t we all? Stay tuned.
FOOD for THOUGHT...
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Forwarded E-mails
I find it so interesting how many friends and relatives forward e-mails that are so full of misinformation, distortions and flat out lies. They pass them on because of course they must be true. They are on the Internet! Even when I take the time to check out the story on Snopes.com, they often refuse to accept the e-mail as false.
I wonder how many of these things keep getting cycled and recycled around the internet. Each time we get one of these a little part of our brain wants to believe it is true or might be true. If we are bombarded with a falsehood enough times and told it is true, we slowly start to believe it.
Hmmm…
There will be peace and prosperity in the world again. We will save the planet. We will respect the dignity of all mankind regardless of race, gender, religion, party affiliation or sexual orientation. We will join hands, liberal and conservative, roll up our sleeves and get to work to make things better. (pass it on to at least 10 people within 5 minutes of reading this and you will have unbelievable good luck.)
FOOD for THOUGHT...
I wonder how many of these things keep getting cycled and recycled around the internet. Each time we get one of these a little part of our brain wants to believe it is true or might be true. If we are bombarded with a falsehood enough times and told it is true, we slowly start to believe it.
Hmmm…
There will be peace and prosperity in the world again. We will save the planet. We will respect the dignity of all mankind regardless of race, gender, religion, party affiliation or sexual orientation. We will join hands, liberal and conservative, roll up our sleeves and get to work to make things better. (pass it on to at least 10 people within 5 minutes of reading this and you will have unbelievable good luck.)
FOOD for THOUGHT...
Saturday, May 9, 2009
My Reply to the RNC
Republican National Committee
310 First Street, Southeast
Washington, D.C. 20003
Attn: Randy Pullen, Treasurer
Dear Randy,
I was surprised to get your letter (after all these years) asking for my support. Yes, I did vote for Richard Nixon and Ronald Regan and even George Bush (the father, not the son) the first time he ran. What a wonderful memory you folks at the RNC must have! I must confess that I was honored that you considered me a “grassroots supporter,” a “grassroots leader” and a “grassroots activist.” (My you certainly like that word!)
Your concern that I may have left the Republican Party was both confusing and troubling. It was confusing because I have voted with the “other side” for over 18 years now and troubling because I hate the thought of losing your high esteem after all those kind words about me in your letter. I guess there is no other way to gently break it to you than to just say it. I am one of those “commie, bedwetting, bleeding-heart, left-wing, tax and spend, godless liberals” now. Oh, I know the shock and horror of it all! How could I go over to the “other side?” Randy, just calm yourself a moment and I’ll try to explain.
American politics has gotten too bitter and vitriolic over the years. While the “Other Team” has not been and is not perfect, as a voter I only have two viable parties to choose from. I have watched the Republican Party embrace the Religious Right and Big Business. I have seen it become a party of mean spirited intolerance, focusing on single issues that divide rather than unite this country. I have seen the party become a party of FEAR wrapped in the American Flag to the exclusion of all who do not conform or fit into its extreme right-wing agenda. Under President Bush (the son, not the father) the Party embraced the small group of New World Order NEOCONS bent on changing the rest of the World to their narrow view. We lost many friends and allies over the last 8 years because of the “our way or the highway” policies. Our standing and respect in the World dropped to an all time low with their embrace of torture and refusal to honor international treaties and conventions.
Randy, my friend, America is changing. We have many different views, backgrounds and colors. We are not all god-fearing, white, patriarchal, heterosexual, Anglo-Saxon Christians. America has always been a melting pot where the ingredients change. What has not changed is America’s love of freedom and hope for a better life for us and our children. We need hope, Randy, not fear and division. We need a party that can identify with the needs and dreams of the majority of Americans in the center, not just the special interest “haves” to the exclusion of the “have-nots.”
I don’t like to admit it, but the “other side” does not have all the answers either. They can be just as vindictive and divisive as the Republicans. We need answers and leadership that will take our country into the next century with new ideas and new ways of doing things. Both parties may have to go the way of the dinosaurs if they do not find a way to bipartisan cooperation and real solutions beyond political posturing and bickering and trying to destroy each other.
If the Republican Party can find its way back to Middle America, stop being the “Party of No” and offer constructive bipartisan solutions, then you may have my support. Until then, let’s just be friends.
FOOD for THOUGHT...
Steve Ortman
310 First Street, Southeast
Washington, D.C. 20003
Attn: Randy Pullen, Treasurer
Dear Randy,
I was surprised to get your letter (after all these years) asking for my support. Yes, I did vote for Richard Nixon and Ronald Regan and even George Bush (the father, not the son) the first time he ran. What a wonderful memory you folks at the RNC must have! I must confess that I was honored that you considered me a “grassroots supporter,” a “grassroots leader” and a “grassroots activist.” (My you certainly like that word!)
Your concern that I may have left the Republican Party was both confusing and troubling. It was confusing because I have voted with the “other side” for over 18 years now and troubling because I hate the thought of losing your high esteem after all those kind words about me in your letter. I guess there is no other way to gently break it to you than to just say it. I am one of those “commie, bedwetting, bleeding-heart, left-wing, tax and spend, godless liberals” now. Oh, I know the shock and horror of it all! How could I go over to the “other side?” Randy, just calm yourself a moment and I’ll try to explain.
American politics has gotten too bitter and vitriolic over the years. While the “Other Team” has not been and is not perfect, as a voter I only have two viable parties to choose from. I have watched the Republican Party embrace the Religious Right and Big Business. I have seen it become a party of mean spirited intolerance, focusing on single issues that divide rather than unite this country. I have seen the party become a party of FEAR wrapped in the American Flag to the exclusion of all who do not conform or fit into its extreme right-wing agenda. Under President Bush (the son, not the father) the Party embraced the small group of New World Order NEOCONS bent on changing the rest of the World to their narrow view. We lost many friends and allies over the last 8 years because of the “our way or the highway” policies. Our standing and respect in the World dropped to an all time low with their embrace of torture and refusal to honor international treaties and conventions.
Randy, my friend, America is changing. We have many different views, backgrounds and colors. We are not all god-fearing, white, patriarchal, heterosexual, Anglo-Saxon Christians. America has always been a melting pot where the ingredients change. What has not changed is America’s love of freedom and hope for a better life for us and our children. We need hope, Randy, not fear and division. We need a party that can identify with the needs and dreams of the majority of Americans in the center, not just the special interest “haves” to the exclusion of the “have-nots.”
I don’t like to admit it, but the “other side” does not have all the answers either. They can be just as vindictive and divisive as the Republicans. We need answers and leadership that will take our country into the next century with new ideas and new ways of doing things. Both parties may have to go the way of the dinosaurs if they do not find a way to bipartisan cooperation and real solutions beyond political posturing and bickering and trying to destroy each other.
If the Republican Party can find its way back to Middle America, stop being the “Party of No” and offer constructive bipartisan solutions, then you may have my support. Until then, let’s just be friends.
FOOD for THOUGHT...
Steve Ortman
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Greetings from the RNC
The other day I got a letter from Randy Pullen, the Treasurer for the RNC (Republican National Committee), and he said he didn’t want to “believe that I had abandoned the Republican Party.” He went on to say that “our records show we have not received your 2009 Republican National Committee membership renewal contribution.” The letter was very official looking with the “Republican National Committee” emblazoned at the top and an “RNC Membership Confirmation” section at the bottom below the instructions to: Detach Here. The Membership Confirmation began with: “Dear Randy, you can count on me.”
For a moment, I almost thought I had been transported back in time. Why yes, I believe I did vote for Richard Nixon in the 70’s and Ronald Reagan in the 80’s. In fact, I think I even voted for George Bush (the father, not the son) the first time he ran for office. Yes, I guess you could say I was a Republican at that time in my life and I marveled at Mr. Pullen’s memory.
I was further amazed (and flattered) when Mr. Pullen, Randy, went on to say that the Party’s success depended on “grassroots supporters” (he underlined that part) like me. It seems that the only thing standing in the way of “Obama/Pelosi/Reid Democrats” was me…and the RNC. Randy and the RNC were counting on my generous support as a “grassroots leader” (wow, I got upgraded from a supporter to a leader) to grow and strengthen the Party for the critical 2009-2010 elections.
Finally, Randy ended his impassioned letter with a P.S. “The RNC needs the support of every Republican grassroots activist (now I’m an activist?) to meet the challenges that lie ahead.” I sat for a moment and re-read the letter. Yes, my name and the correct address were on the letter. It was no mistake. Randy and the RNC were asking me for help. They were asking me for money to help further the Republican cause. For a whole nanosecond I was deeply conflicted. How could I tell this man, this Treasurer of the RNC, that I actually voted for the very man who ended 8 long years of George Bush (the son, not the father)?
I decided to sit down and write that nice young man a letter. I would try to break the news gently. Perhaps I would not even mention that I voted for Bill Clinton…twice. It might be too much for Randy. I mean his letter sounded so desperate at the end. He considered me a “grassroots” supporter, a leader and even an activist for God’s sake. How could I crush his hopes and dreams like a paper cup? Finally, I thought I might offer one last bit of advice…update your computer database?
FOOD for THOUGHT...
For a moment, I almost thought I had been transported back in time. Why yes, I believe I did vote for Richard Nixon in the 70’s and Ronald Reagan in the 80’s. In fact, I think I even voted for George Bush (the father, not the son) the first time he ran for office. Yes, I guess you could say I was a Republican at that time in my life and I marveled at Mr. Pullen’s memory.
I was further amazed (and flattered) when Mr. Pullen, Randy, went on to say that the Party’s success depended on “grassroots supporters” (he underlined that part) like me. It seems that the only thing standing in the way of “Obama/Pelosi/Reid Democrats” was me…and the RNC. Randy and the RNC were counting on my generous support as a “grassroots leader” (wow, I got upgraded from a supporter to a leader) to grow and strengthen the Party for the critical 2009-2010 elections.
Finally, Randy ended his impassioned letter with a P.S. “The RNC needs the support of every Republican grassroots activist (now I’m an activist?) to meet the challenges that lie ahead.” I sat for a moment and re-read the letter. Yes, my name and the correct address were on the letter. It was no mistake. Randy and the RNC were asking me for help. They were asking me for money to help further the Republican cause. For a whole nanosecond I was deeply conflicted. How could I tell this man, this Treasurer of the RNC, that I actually voted for the very man who ended 8 long years of George Bush (the son, not the father)?
I decided to sit down and write that nice young man a letter. I would try to break the news gently. Perhaps I would not even mention that I voted for Bill Clinton…twice. It might be too much for Randy. I mean his letter sounded so desperate at the end. He considered me a “grassroots” supporter, a leader and even an activist for God’s sake. How could I crush his hopes and dreams like a paper cup? Finally, I thought I might offer one last bit of advice…update your computer database?
FOOD for THOUGHT...
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