I picture the President’s meeting in Washington this week with Democrat and Republican law-makers going something like this:
“I want to thank you all for attending this summit today. I also want to thank C-Span for televising our efforts to come together in a bipartisan effort to end this legislative gridlock that has beset the nation in my first year in office. Gentlemen, if you are ready, let’s get started. We have much to do. We can start with healthcare, jobs or financial reform. What would you like to discuss first?” said President Obama.
“I respectfully request that the TV cameras be tuned off and that we adjourn the meeting. We agreed to show up, against our better judgment I might add, and now that we have, I feel we have lived up to our part of the bargain. After all we should not be seen talking with the enemy,” said Senator Boehner.
“Now Senator, you all agreed to come and talk today. The Nation wants us to get things done. Let’s start off with a list of things we both agree on when it comes to healthcare reform. Katherine is passing out a list of all the things that have been supported by Republicans during the Bush Administration. Let’s start with those and see if we can build on them. I’ve talked with my fellow Democrats and we are willing to include all of these points in our healthcare reform bill,” said the President.
“No. We don’t agree with any of them.”
“But Senator, these are your points! These are things you have supported in the past.”
“That was before YOU proposed them, Mr. President. Sorry.”
“Okay, let’s move on to Jobs. Surly we can all agree on creating more jobs to get our economy back on track. We have too many Americans out of work. Millions of our fellow citizens are suffering,” said President Obama. “Hilda, you want to pass around the list of proposed tax cuts and tax breaks for small businesses that our bipartisan caucus put together late last night?”
“We’ve lost our sound, Mr. President,” said a C-Span technician.
“Senator McConnell, you want to hand me those wire cutters, please? Joe, take this duct tape and my pocket knife and see what you can do, will you?”
“Socialist dog! You lie!”
“Now Senator Wilson, that’s not being very productive. Shouting and name calling are not going to help us find a solution to our problems. Let’s move on. Our newest senator, Senator Brown from Massachusetts. Perhaps you can summarize Republican ideas for financial reform in America’s banking industry,” said President Obama as he took some aspirin and rubbed his temples.
“I have nothing to say, Mr. President. After helping to stop that last filibuster, boy oh boy am I on probation with my fellow Republicans. You are on your own, sir.”
“Do any of you have any plans, proposals, ideas, power point presentations? Anything?!”
A long silence.
“Yes, Senator McCain. Thank you. Finally, we are getting somewhere. You have something?” said the President with a sigh of relief.
“Mr. President I move that we all break for lunch.”
And so it goes.
Food for THOUGHT…
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