I am Voting Republican?

I received a sarcastic e-mail from a friend entitled, “I’m voting Democratic.” The sarcasm and characterization of Democrats and liberals was somewhat surprising. It made me think. Perhaps I have been wrong all along. I have been receiving abundant e-mails from friends and family reassuring me that Barack Obama is a dangerous man. He is someone to be feared. His name, his looks and his message are suspect. It took me a while, but I finally decided that I should vote Republican.

I am voting Republican because I just love the way our Republican president (or vice president?) has run our once respected country these last seven years. Who else could have taken us from a budget surplus under President Clinton to record national debt? Who else could have taken us from gasoline prices at the pump under $2.00 per gallon to over $4.00 per gallon while oil company profits broke all time records? Who else would have had the courage to cut taxes for the wealthiest 5% of taxpayers and start a war on two fronts costing us billions of dollars a month? Who else would have had the courage to break long-standing treaties and international conventions costing this country our moral standing and respect in the international community? God bless George W. Bush and his party for single-handedly dismantling our constitution and our Bill of Rights to keep us safe from another terrorist attack. “Just go shopping!” was his message to America after 9/11. America loves to shop.

I'm voting Republican because I know I can count on John McCain to carry on the same high level of experience in local and foreign affairs that have led to war, record national debt, a mortgage crisis and a national recession, if not outright depression like our parents survived in the 1930's. I want MORE of the same! Forget “a change we can believe in!” Give me business as usual! War and hard times make us stronger. Just ask our parents and grandparents. Wars test our national resolve and boost our economy.

While we are at it, God bless the good old American gas-guzzlers that made the oilmen rich and powerful. In turn, these men owe a tremendous debt to Detroit. While the rest of the world was working on smaller more fuel-efficient cars, Ford, GM, and Chrysler were cranking out Hummers, SUV’s and large pickup trucks. That is what America demanded. Thank the Lord McCain has joined the oil boys in calling for more offshore drilling and development of our national wildlife refuges so we can have a little more oil ten years down the road. Not only that, but John wants to build a bunch of nuclear power plants. Forget three-mile Island and Chernobyl for a moment. Now, I know we do not have a safe way to deal with the substantial radioactive waste they would generate, but we can deal with those problems down the road. Forget about extending federal subsidies for the investment and development of wind and solar power. Forget development of alternative and renewable energy sources. Forget drilling those substantial oil reserves that exist on land already leased by the oilmen right here in the United States. There are beaches to blacken and natural areas to exploit. Do not even get me started on coal mining and coal burning power plants. Fossil fuels rock, baby! Use up all the resources that we have first. When the oil runs out, then we can look at these other things. Let us live in the now...my friends.

I am voting Republican because I believe in a strong vice-president. Dick Cheney has done an outstanding job running his secret shadow government from his "undisclosed location". He proved that no one is above this administration's vindictive revenge...not even active CIA agents. The secret, hidden agenda and loyalty to that agenda is what matters. He proved that his top henchmen were loyal enough to take a bullet and fall on their sword for him. We need MORE of these kinds of people in our government... zealous bureaucrats ready to utter lies and misinformation at a moment's bidding from above. We need MORE secrecy in our government, if we are going to defeat global terrorism. Right on, Dick!

I am voting Republican because they know how to get the most talented people to mismanage their wars for years and years without any progress (Bin Laden is still at large I hear). After all, isn’t that what congress is all about? Immediately after the 9/11 attack, we had worldwide sympathy and yet this administration still managed to get the rest of the world to hate and more importantly... fear us. This administration put our diplomats on the bench and rode off into the sunset firing their six-shooters and shouting, “It is our way or the highway.” God Bless these hard working Republican public servants...wherever they are now (writing their memoirs and tell-all books I hear). Thank God for their ability to keep us all living in FEAR. Fear keeps us on our toes and ever vigilant against those who covet and would destroy our way of life. Sometimes we have to sacrifice our rights and freedoms to feel...safe.

I have seen the light at last. If we cannot beat them...JOIN them! Long live President John McCain, the oil industry, Detroit and the shadowy power brokers behind the scenes! I am voting Republican.

FOOD for THOUGHT...