Come Fly With Me

When I was a kid, my father was a captain with American Airlines during the golden age of commercial aviation. Flying in those days was quite a luxury. People would actually get dressed up. They could get their ticket and walk directly to their gate and board their flight. Passengers were treated like a valued customer. We were given meals and snacks and even drinks for free. People could smoke! Seats were comfortable. You could check your luggage without charge and not worry that some baggage handler would go through your things. If a bag did get lost, they would find it and deliver it to your door. The airlines competed to see who could be the most hospitable. It was a pleasure to fly.

With the advent of highjackers, terrorists, bombings, attempted bombings and 9/11, commercial aviation has become complicated, potentially dangerous and most assuredly…inconvenient. For the sake of safety, the flying public has had to endure many changes. First, we must all carry and provide approved forms of picture ID’s. We are asked to remove our shoes and stand in long lines to go through security checkpoints by TSA agents. Because of this, we are told to come to the airport at least 2 hours (now 3 hours!) before our flight leaves. Once we wind our way to the security gates we must empty our pockets, wallets, coats and keys into trays. These items along with our carry on bags are placed on conveyers to be scanned by X-ray machines. Any fingernail clippers, pocket knives, and liquids over 3 ounces are confiscated. Then we are poked and probed after stepping through the metal detector in our stocking feet. Having passed that procedure we race to the end of the conveyor to retrieve our bags, wallets, loose change, keys and shoes so that we can reassemble ourselves and move on to our departure gate.

Once at the gate, we wait for our section to be called for boarding. We are herded like cattle down a shoot into a metal tube with narrow aisles. We scramble to find space in the overhead bins near our seats (if you can get an assigned seat) before some moron shoves an oversized suitcase or duffle bag in your space. God help you if you are old or weak and cannot lift your carry on over your head and into the bin. Once that is accomplished we sink into our narrow seat with no leg room and pray that we do not get hemmed in by some large guy who drools in his sleep, a “talker” or a parent with a screaming baby. Forget about meals and snacks, we will be lucky to get a half can of soda in a plastic cup and a bag of peanuts. We will be expected to stay scrunched in our seat for hours. If we need to use the restroom, good luck getting past the other passengers also scrunched next to us. Once out in the aisle, we can stand in line with several other passengers waiting to use the one working toilet in coach (no one in coach is allowed to use the use ones in first class) and just hope the plane does not hit turbulence. Then it’s back to our seats with seatbelts on. Oh, New Rule! We can’t use the toilets an hour before landing. Suck it up and cross your legs. If you soil your seat…you own it. Coming soon: pay toilets!

Upon landing, we scramble to the luggage area to retrieve the extra bags that we had to pay a fee to check because we are allowed only one small bag as a carry on. Once there… we wait. We hope and pray that our bags made it by the baggage handlers in one piece. If we pass that hurdle, we scramble to find ground transportation and breathe a sigh of relief. The return trip starts the process all over again.

Yes, we want to stay safe when we fly, but come on! What happened to those days I remember when flying was glamorous and pleasurable, when we were treated like a real person, a valued customer? Fear is what has happened. Cost cutting to make the bottom line is what has happened. Not enough people flying are what has happened. Cut rate fares are what has happened. People stopped being valued customers. We became potential terrorists. We became a commodity to move from point A to point B in the cheapest way possible.

Moooo! Happy New Year!

Food for THOUGHT…

Healthcare and Washington

I was hopeful when the House passed its version of the Healthcare Reform Bill with a public option. It looked like we might actually DO something that would address the healthcare crisis in this country. For too many Americans private healthcare insurance is becoming or is in fact too costly. Too many Americans are being priced out of the market with sky rocketing premiums that go nowhere but up. Even if you can afford the premiums, you can’t afford to get sick with outrageous deductibles and out of pocket expenses and caps on coverage. It makes you wonder why you are paying all that money each month to some big insurance company, only to be told that you are not covered or the portion you have to pay still bankrupts you. And we wonder where all that money has gone.

When the Senate began debating its version of the bill, things began to unravel big time. Even though Democrats have enough votes to pass a bill, they began to fall apart in the face of the Republican stone wall. The Party of NO dug in its heels and has done everything it can to end any hope of meaningful healthcare reform. But they did not do it alone they had help from conservative Democrats and independents like our old pal, “which way is the wind blowing” Joe Lieberman. First, they dropped the public healthcare option and then they scuttled the early Medicare buy-in option. They singlehandedly eliminated any kind of competition that would have forced the private insurance industry to start lowering their prices and cutting costs. The bill would still require everyone to purchase insurance, but without a low cost public option, what incentive would there be for the insurance industry to lower their costs? In fact, they would seem to benefit tremendously with millions of Americans being forced by law to buy into a broken healthcare system that they control. Yes, they would have to provide coverage for people with preexisting conditions, but what better excuse to make that coverage prohibitive with higher prices. Those who least could afford it would be caught in the squeeze of following the law and the inability to afford the coverage they need.

Once again FEAR and special interest groups reign supreme in our nation’s capitol. Reason and common sense have lost again. Our nation’s poor, working poor and middle class will be left out to dry. Once again this country will have the best healthcare system…that MONEY can buy.

Food for THOUGHT…

That Time of Year Again

It’s Christmas time again. I can’t believe another year has passed and it is time for the colors of red and green, reindeer and jolly old elves. It’s time for the crush of shoppers and children leaving hints for their parents and letters to Santa. It is time once more for Christmas carols and homes decorated with colorful lights that blink. It is a time when we start thinking about food and family gatherings and a warm home.

There is another side to this season of giving and warm memories, a darker side, a hidden side. There are struggling people, the working poor and the homeless that pass us on the street. There are families living from pay check to pay check. There are children that Santa won’t be visiting and men and women that call a box under an overpass home. It is the season of hunger…and want.

Lisa and I were invited to spend part of the day working at our new Food Bank here in San Antonio. It is a large new facility built by HEB Food Stores. This distribution facility supplies food (donated and purchased) to food pantries in a surrounding six county area here in South Texas. They feed 25,000 hungry people a week and the numbers are growing. The day we were there, we packed over 1,000 food boxes for senior citizens.

After our work session, we talked with the volunteer coordinator and were surprised to learn that the Food Bank worked with prisoners, as well as handicapped and disadvantaged young people. It is part of an ongoing community training program. These people are trained in warehousing technology and culinary arts. Those people passing their certification program have no problem getting jobs as chefs in some of San Antonio’s finest hotels and restaurants. Prisoners become certified to run forklifts and other heavy equipment for area factories and warehouses when they get out. So people are not only getting fed, but they are learning useful skills to make a decent living.

We also learned that the need for food and volunteers is not just at Christmas and Thanksgiving, but all year round. Yes, the spirit of the season reminds us of those who are less fortunate, but hunger and poverty are with us 365 days a year, not just on holidays. Lisa and I realized how much we have to be thankful for and decided to spend some of our spare time as volunteers during the rest of the year. We felt good knowing that in just that one day, we helped feed over 1,000 people. Why not use this season of giving and stop by your local Food Bank or food pantry and give a little of your time.

Food for THOUGHT…

My Favorite Picture

I have a picture on the wall in my office. It shows me in a hammock feeding my infant daughter, Erin, with a bottle. It’s one of my favorite pictures. I look so young in that picture. My hair is dark and I have a mustache instead of a beard. Erin, for her part, looks quite content.

On Friday, the day after Thanksgiving, Erin gave birth to her first child, Nathan Andrew Schaus. That makes my third grandchild and the first grandson. There were some complications during labor, but mom and son are doing just fine. I just look at that picture in the hammock and wonder…where have all the years gone?

I now have a new favorite picture… Welcome to the world, “Little Nate!”

With Love,
Gramps

Food for THOUGHT…

On Remembering

“Hey, Kid! Got a minute?”

I sat up in bed. The bedroom was dark. I had no idea what time it was. I tried to light up the face of my watch but it didn’t glow.

“Don’t worry about it, kid. We got all the time in the world. Know who I Am?” came the Voice from the darkness once more. “Yes you do. That’s right…I am that I Am, The Alpha and the Omega, The Lord God Almighty… but you can call me Sarah, if you want. Actually I go by a lot of names.”

Suddenly I smelled the heavy scent of roses!

“What’s in a name, right? By any other name would I not smell as sweet?” came the Voice again with a chuckle.

She had my full attention now. Instead of fear, my head filled with questions, thousands of questions! But of course God knew every single one and She moved to quiet my mind and focus on the meeting at hand. I suddenly felt peaceful, like I was in the presence of a long lost friend. I felt warm and comfortable.

“So why do so many people get their shorts in a knot over what to call You?” I said at last. “People have fought wars over You. And just whose God are you, by the way? Are you the God of Moses, Mohammed or Christ?”

“Oh, come on, Stephen! You can do better than that,” said the Voice. “My children want to make everything so complicated. I give you all a few simple guidelines and you turn them into world religions! You guys just knock me over. If it weren’t for the killing and destruction you’ve all caused each other, it would be hilarious. I tell you to love one another and you go out and tear each other apart and then, get this…you do it in MY name. You guys are a hoot!”

Her words seemed so plain and simple. They cut right though me and yet I wanted to laugh. She had a way of getting right to the point.

“Well, Stephen, that’s why I thought we should talk. It needs to stop. YOU need to stop it. It is time that man grows up and moves on. I have a lot more things in store for all of you, great things, wonderful things… and it won’t happen until you all stop this madness and start to remember what you already know.” It is because you choose to forget…that the world is as it is.”

“Me? How am I supposed to stop all this insanity going on in the world? Are you crazy?” I said.

“Ah, but therein lies one of the problems, don’t you see? You see yourselves as separate, cut off from one another. It’s every man, woman and child for themselves, you think…and so it becomes. You have forgotten who you really are. Instead you have listened to that ego-driven voice that lies to you. It tells you that there is not enough. It tells you that you are better than, more important than, more sacred than… It tells you that you will die and you listen to it. Hey, I sent plenty of people to help jog your memory. You can’t blame Me.”

“Like Buddha and Jesus?” I said.

“Not just them. What about that homeless guy that asked you for a buck the other day, on your way to work? Oh yeah, and what about your fourth grade teacher, Miss O’Donnell? What a sweet lady! She taught you not only about world geography and drawing maps, but how to face death with dignity and compassion and how to live in the moment. I have sent and continue to send a lot of people your way to help you remember. You know I have. Not just people either. I sent you books and movies and poems, too. I was the wind in the trees as you walked the paths at Spring Valley. I was the beauty of the wildflowers and the call of the birds along the trail. I sent you cats like Babs, and Spike and Sylvie. I sent you a wife that would remind you about the gift of creativity and how precious it is. Remember?”

“So, are You saying that we are all just walking around with really bad memories, in a fog? If we were to wake up and start remembering things that we already know, deep down in our core being, that we could change the world, turn it around?” I said incredulously.

“That is exactly what I am saying. See, you’re getting the hang of it. What you THINK creates your reality,” said God’s voice in the darkness. “Work on it, okay baby? I’ll get back to you. And oh, by the way, I love you guys! You’re the greatest…you just forgot HOW great.”

Food for THOUGHT…

On Turning 58

(Photo: Me and my Great Grandpa Tipton)
I was born on November 17, 1951 in Kankakee, Illinois. To be considered an antique an object has to be over 50 years old, so I guess that makes me an antique. In 1951 the Korean War was coming to an uneasy truce. Princess Elizabeth was preparing to ascend to the British Throne. Her son, Prince Charles, was only three years old. Bread was selling for $ .20 a loaf and eggs were going for $ .59 a dozen. The Hydrogen bomb was being developed and tested. The African Queen with Humphrey Bogart and Katherine Hepburn and A Street Car Named Desire starring Marlin Brando and Vivien Leigh were popular movies that year. All About Eve won Best Picture at the Academy Awards. Joe DiMaggio signed a $100,000 contract with the Yankees as they beat the New York Giants in the 6th game of the World Series. Truman was President of the United States and Winston Churchill was appointed Prime minister of England by King George VI.

In my fifty plus years on this planet, I have witnessed the rise of television, electric typewriters, transistor radios and the first man rocketed into outer space and land on the surface of the Moon. I have gone from crank telephones and party lines to cell phones and 4G iPhones that access the internet and take movies and pictures. I cannot believe I survived college with a typewriter and library books and hand written term papers. We could only use a slide rule on tests. The new Texas Instruments calculators were not allowed. Computers, the Internet, word processing programs and Photo Shop changed everything. The black and white film used in my old Kodak Brownie camera had to be hand wound onto a roll and turned into the local drug store to be developed into prints which sometimes took up to a week. Today, digital cameras take high resolution, color photos that can be down loaded on my home computer, tweaked with a photo program and e-mailed to friends and family in minutes.

I have been married three times. I have two amazing daughters, each now married and having their own children. Yes, I am a grandfather and I have a grandson on the way. My parents and grandparents are now dead and boy, do I feel old. My first job was working on my family’s chicken farm. My best paying job was as a Senior Buyer for Motorola, Inc. My most rewarding job is my current job working for the Education Department as a historical interpreter for the Alamo here in San Antonio, Texas.

My need to be creative led me to write several books of poetry. I performed my work at poetry readings in Chicago area coffeehouses during my time there. I joined a wonderful group of talented writers during those years and published a variety of magazine articles as a freelance writer. Upon my arrival in San Antonio, I was given the opportunity to write a book about the most famous historic shrine in Texas, The Alamo. It has been a best seller and is now heading into its second printing. My other creative urge has been to create art. I love to paint with oil and acrylic on canvas. It really helps to be married to one of San Antonio’s most talented fiber artists, Lisa Kerpoe. She has encouraged me to get my work out there and displayed in a gallery, most recently, the SAVA Gallery. Our life together down here has been a wonderful creative soup and I thank her very much.

My 58 years have been full of change. I have survived many ups and downs. I have lost people very dear to me, just as I have welcomed new members to my family who will carry on after I am no more. I have loved and been loved and truly blessed by this incredible journey called Life. I have known great joy, but I have been terribly disappointed by man’s inability to “see the forest for the trees.” My spiritual beliefs have taken me from an agnostic to a New Age view of things. I believe that we create our own reality and that we are all One with our Creator in an existence without end. Each of us, even to the lowest of us, is a valuable, precious piece of the whole of what Is. This is the Truth I have come to in my time on this earth. I am not perfect, but I am on a path of eternal growth and learning. The more I learn the more I realize how little I know.

Food for THOUGHT…

Bring Back Burning at the Stake!

In the Middle Ages, Church and State joined forces to stamp out heretics. Heretics were dangerous because they held different views and beliefs from the officially accepted teachings of the Roman Catholic Church. Church hierarchy very quickly realized that dissenting views and beliefs could undermine the Church’s power and authority over not only their flock, but their hold over the secular leaders as well. The Nobility needed the Church’s blessing to validate their authority over their subjects. So the Church and State formed a symbiotic relationship to protect their status quo on wealth and power.

The Church had a problem when it came to heretics. Being followers of Christ’s teachings and good Christians, they could hunt down and prosecute those who held “dangerous beliefs,” but they could not execute the offenders without soiling their own pious hands. That’s where the State came in. Once the crime of Heretic was pronounced upon an unfortunate soul, the Nobility would step in as the “defender of the Faith” and carry out the dirty work of execution. The most common method of disposing of these troublesome believers was to burn them at the stake. Public burnings of heretics became a really good way to keep the “rank and file” in their place as unquestioning servants of the rich and powerful.

If someone was accused of being a heretic, but refused to confess his sin and repent so that he could then be turned over to the civil authorities and burned at the stake, then it was permissible for the good Christian inquisitors to use torture and other means to illicit a confession from the accused. This gave rise to that wonderfully dark period in Christendom known as the Spanish Inquisition. Officers of the Church were free to interrogate their accused prisoners to the point of death. They learned that pain and fear were amazing tools of the trade in their quest of a confession.

As time progressed, torture became less important to bring people to the stake. Being accused by a neighbor or authorities was often enough to seal their doom. Until the late 1700’s burning at the stake was used as capital punishment for other crimes such as treason and witchcraft. The Age of Enlightenment brought about an end to this form of punishment and replaced it with more “humane” executions like hanging, firing squads, electrocution and now…lethal injection. But, in my view, nothing could compare with the public spectacle of burning at the stake to keep those who see the world differently from contaminating the rest of us with their ideas and beliefs.

If we ever brought back burning at the stake, I could suggest a few “heretics,” if anyone is interested.

Food for THOUGHT…

"Balloon Boy" and the Run Away Media

By now, we all know that the runaway balloon with the little boy inside was a hoax. For a while the saucer-shaped balloon became a media event similar to the helicopter chase of O. J. Simpson. (Remember that?) The networks even cut away from a speech by President Obama to go to live coverage of a daring rescue attempt involving two military helicopters and chase vehicles on the ground. The Denver airport was even closed down for a time as the balloon drifted into the flight paths of the planes. It was very exciting theater.

The next day, the major news outlets were tripping over themselves trying to interview the “relieved” dad and his little boy. I remember watching Good Morning America, as I ate my breakfast that morning, and Diane Sawyer immediately went to a live interview of the whole family. The father was now suspect after the little boy seemed to “spill the beans” during an earlier interview with Larry King. Nevertheless Diane pursued the interview with her inane questions of the father and I watched him “tap-dance” trying to feign offense at the suggestion of a hoax. He was holding the little boy close to him during the interview (better to control him?) when the poor kid said he was going to throw up. To her credit, Diane Sawyer finally broke in and asked if the boy shouldn’t be allowed to go to the bathroom. I expected her to cut away at that point and move on to other stories that morning (like perhaps the President’s speech?). Instead, I watched in disbelief as the father let go of his son and told him not to trip over the wires. Diane broke in again and asked if one of the parents shouldn’t go with the boy. At that point, the mother raised her hand and asked if it was okay that she go take care of him. She had been sitting meekly at the other end of the couch next to the other kids who looked like “deer caught in the headlights.” When the mother finally tip-toed off, I thought surely Diane would cut away to other stories, but no. As we were treated to the little boy retching in the background, Diane kept trying to solicit comments from the other kids (who looked scared to death) while the father continued his rambling discourse. It was agonizing and uncomfortable. Finally, the mother and the little boy returned after much off screen retching. Diane welcomed them back and attempted a few more pointless questions before mercifully breaking away. I have never seen Good Morning America spend 20 minutes of airtime on ANY story, let alone such drivel.

What the hell has happened to journalism and the news business and what is considered newsworthy these days? Have we all been taken in? Have we all been duped? Are we all being lulled to sleep while the rest of the world falls apart? Am I wrong to think that there are more important things to know about? We have pressing issues of healthcare reform, global warming, education and economic recovery to discuss and we spend 20 minutes listening to this publicity hound babble on while his son throws up.

In my lifetime, I have witnessed the death of independent news and integrity. It seems to have been replaced by the rise of corporate media productions with agendas. The news is delivered as entertainment in slick sound bites sandwiched between ads for prescription drugs and Depends undergarments. Our once trusted, stalwart newspapers are dying in this new world of I-pods and online news. Bloggers and paparazzi have replaced journalists and investigative reporters. I suggest that our “Fourth Estate” has been hijacked and manipulated to the point that I don’t know who to trust for accurate, comprehensive and fair news of the day. Where do I go to get unbiased and complete information on things I need to know in a world that reveres FOX News and the likes of Bill O’Reilly, Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck?

Where is Walter Cronkite when we need him?

Food for THOUGHT...

Texas Justice in the 1840's

Last Saturday, was Fall at the Alamo. Again this year we had mock trials giving our visitors a glimpse at justice during the 1840’s when Texas was its own sovereign nation. We were the Republic of Texas! Many of us from the Alamo Education Department dressed in period clothing and we tried cases that were typical of the time period. We had a great time playing our parts. Last year, I was a counterfeiter and this year I was the plaintiff in a Bowie knife fight. Our juries were made up of historical reenactors and Alamo visitors. After hearing the evidence in the mock trials, they go off and decide the fate of the accused.

There were many interesting cases on the docket this year. Many of our visitors are surprised by what was considered crime and punishment back in the 1840’s. Here is a sample:

1) A probate case. Wife of her deceased husband asking the court to settle her husband’s estate.
2) Arson case. Was it arson or the weather that night? A capital offense, death by hanging.
3) A murder case. A capital offense, death by hanging.
4) A case of horse theft. Fine up to $1,000, 39 lashes on the bare back and branded with the letter “T”
5) A case of counterfeiting. A capital offense, death by hanging.
6) A divorce case. Settlement depends on grounds and circumstances.
7) A case of gaming (cards and dice in public). A misdemeanor with fines of not less than $50 nor more than $500 and jail time at the court’s discretion.
8) A case of a duel. A capital offense, death by hanging. Seconds and others who assist shall be fined and imprisoned at the court’s discretion.
9) A case of unlawfully detaining a slave and confiscation of a weapon. Suing for return of property.
10) A case of assault (with a Bowie knife). Imprisonment of not less than 1 year nor more than 5 years.

Frontier justice was often harsh by today’s standards and it was as swift as taking the convict out to the nearest tree to be hung by the neck until dead. Our Alamo visitors came away with another view of Texas life during those Republic years. Courts and the Rule of Law were important on the wild frontier. Yes, they dealt with things like murder and theft but also were expected to settle estates and grant divorces.

Societies rely on a system of justice in order to function and resolve disputes. The Republic of Texas was no exception, but it is fascinating to see what was considered crime and punishment over time as we became the modern State of Texas in the United States of America. I cannot help but wonder what will be considered crime and punishment as we march into our future?

Food for THOUGHT…

Flu Shots

Fall has finally arrived and the push is on to get our flu shot… or shots? In past years, we were told to get one shot, a seasonal flu shot. It covered a combination of all the likely strains of flu that season. But this year, we are being told we may need three separate shots. So what is going on?

With the outbreak of Swine Flu (or the H1N1 Virus) this spring, our government and vaccine manufacturers have been busy preparing enough vaccine for the expected outbreak again this fall. Some researchers say that we will need two shots about three weeks apart and others say that one shot only may be just as effective. I’m glad medical science has that settled. I feel better now. Wasn’t it just a year ago that the medical community was worried about the Bird Flu Pandemic?

It seems like medical science is looking for “the big one” just like California is waiting for the big earthquake that will create beachfront property out of western Nevada. I find it interesting that man still believes that science and technology can outsmart Mother Nature, that scientist can figure out just when an average every day virus will mutate and become lethal. What are the odds we can stop it? If we do create just the right vaccine, what are the odds that we can produce enough vaccine for every man woman and child in time?

Still, I get my flu shot(s) every year, like a good little soldier, just on the off chance that it will protect me. Perhaps one day science will develop a shot that will protect us from…stupid politicians.

Food for THOUGHT…

I'm Guilty

For eight long years I railed against the Bush administration and his policies. I railed against the Republican controlled congress. I’m guilty. I sent e-mails and forwarded e-mails with the best of them. I laughed, joked and sent cartoons of Bush, Cheney and the rest. I’m guilty. What I did was to help divide our nation into US vs. THEM. I helped create the divisive climate we have today. And now that the “shoe is on the other foot”…I do not like it very much. Yes, dear brother, I am a hypocrite. I’m beginning to understand how much it hurts this country when we show a lack of respect for our ELECTED leaders. I do not regret that I disagreed with former President Bush and his policies, but I regret the lack of respect due the office of the President and the officers that served him. I’m guilty and I was wrong.

I am on the receiving end of a lot of FORWARDED e-mails making fun of President Obama and his policies. While I felt justified in attacking Bush and Cheney, I have never seen such a malicious campaign against a sitting President as that being waged against Obama. Many of these e-mails are flat out lies and misinformation and they have been reported as such by internet sites like www.snopes.com and www.factcheck.org yet they continue to be sent out as jokes or the absolute “truth” over and over again. Eventually people come to believe their veracity even though there is nothing to back them up.

It finally dawned on me that I was a part of this ongoing and escalating campaign of hate, disrespect and mistrust. It really hit home last week with the President of the United States of America being shouted at and called a “liar” during his address to Congress. It hit home when news reports of parents keeping their children home from school and school districts not allowing the broadcast of a speech on the importance of education by the President of the United States of America. It hit home when town hall meetings to discuss national healthcare reform turned into violent shouting matches by people with other agendas. It hit home right here in Texas when our own Governor made references to Texas seceding from the Union at several “Tea Parties” around the state. I had a hand in all of this with my own lack of respect.

As some of my friends and family know by now, I started attacking these divisive and untruthful e-mails with sarcasm and humor and doing my best to debunk those using internet fact checking sites. I admit that sometimes it was fun and some of the stuff was funny, but what I see happening to the mood of the nation is no longer… funny. If we do not ALL lower our voices and find a way to cooperate and get along, despite our differences, then I fear for the country I love. I see us tearing this country apart over partisan political issues and flat out racism. The one common denominator in all the shouting, e-mails, signs and protests is…FEAR. We continue to be a nation held hostage by our fears. It’s the FEAR that divides us into US and THEM.

Recently, I sent an e-mail to my family and friends to help ME deal with the volume of hateful lies and divisive material I have been getting online. Here is what I sent:

Dear Friends and Family,

I have been getting so many forwarded e-mails that are politically partisan and or thinly veiled racism passed off as jokes, cartoons and the absolute truth. I realize I can't stop them and the more I try, the more I get. So for my own sanity, if your e-mail or forwarded e-mail falls into this category, do not be surprised to receive this reply:

Dear Sender:

The nature of this e-mail offends me. When did America become so hateful, so divisive and so disrespectful? I want to believe that America is better than the petty partisanship and / or thinly disguised racism these e-mails often reflect. Do you really want to keep this going out into the Internet? Please think about it. By continuing to send these e-mails you reflect those destructive views and values on yourself.

"A house divided cannot stand." It is time to stop tearing down our country and our elected leaders and begin to come together with respect, cooperation, dialogue, healing and get things done. We have much to do. Let us roll up our sleeves and get to work. America deserves better than this. I hope you agree.

Food for THOUGHT.

Steve Ortman
San Antonio, Texas

America DOES deserve better than this. We ARE better than this. At the same time, I do not want to shy away from honest dialogue and discussion with my friends and family and others when we have different opinions. I, personally, cannot hide my head in the sand and will not. We do not all agree on all things. That’s life. But, we must, as a nation, find a way to deal with our differences and our fears. We…I must find a way to tone down the rhetoric and search out ways to cooperate and be more civil, if we are to get anything done.

I am sick to death of the extremists on the right and the left trying to destroy and discredit each other! We have much to do and things cannot wait. We all have a choice. We can continue with fear and divisiveness or we can choose to find ways to work together…with RESPECT and heal our Nation’s wounds. Each of us has a part to play.

Will you be a healer or a divider?

Food for THOUGHT…

Texas, Gotta Love Us!

"We’re hearing from parents and grandparents that are not very happy. They really feel like it is political indoctrination," said Stephanie Klick, Tarrant County Republican Party chairwoman. "People don’t like this. I have heard from some families that are planning to keep their kids home."

– Star-Telegram, Ft. Worth, Texas 9/2/09

There is a ruckus in Texas that has parents of school children in some north Texas school districts up in arms. What could possibly drive these parents to threaten to pull their kids out of school? Are the schools planning to pass out Chairman Mao’s Little Red Book? Are the teachers reading from the Quran and asking students to recite their favorite passages? Are they openly discussing sex? What’s all the hub bub? Why are they so hot under the collar? It must be something pretty outrageous!

Well… it is outrageous. The President of the United States of America wants to address the students of this great nation. And what does he want to talk about? He wants to talk about the importance of education and staying school. Oh, the horror of it all! The audacity! To make matters worse, he wants to do this on the Internet via live streaming video, something very familiar to today’s youth. How dare he use this modern technology to talk to students! I just have this vision of parents, teachers and school superintendents rushing out to Radio Shack and Best Buy and Office Depot trying to purchase V-chips and programs to block internet content on the school computers lest the impressionable minds of Texas students be corrupted by…the President.

According to Arne Duncan, the President’s Secretary of Education, President Obama wants to address the students of America about “a shared responsibility and commitment on the part of students, parents and educators to ensure that every child in every school receives the best education possible so they can compete in the global economy for good jobs and live rewarding and productive lives as American citizens," Plug your ears Texas students and shout as loud as you can, “I can’t hear you!” How dare the President of the United States of America attempt such a blatant indoctrination of our youth! This is Texas.

• Texas is #49 in verbal SAT scores in the nation (493) and #46 in average math SAT scores (502).
• Texas is #36 in the nation in high school graduation rates (68%).

-from Texas State Comptroller, Susan Combs at website: http://www.window.state.tx.us/comptrol/wwstand/wws0512ed/

Well, our ever popular, conservative Governor Rick Perry, who’s running for another term, is talking about Texas seceding from the Union. Yes, you heard me right.

AUSTIN, Texas -- Texas Gov. Rick Perry fired up an anti-tax "tea party" Wednesday with his stance against the federal government and for states' rights as some in his U.S. flag-waving audience shouted, "Secede!" …
Perry called his supporters patriots. Later, answering news reporters' questions, Perry suggested Texans might at some point get so fed up they would want to secede from the union, though he said he sees no reason why Texas should do that…
“But Texas is a very unique place, and we're a pretty independent lot to boot."…

-from Associated Press 4/15/09

So God love our ever popular Governor Perry. If he ever gets off the fence and gets his act together, we might just secede in time to stop the President from filling our students with a lot of nonsense about the importance of education in America. We can only hope.

Food for THOUGHT…

Time to Get Away

It has been a long, hot summer here in south Texas. After 50 some days of over 100 degrees and very little rain, I have watched my garden dry up and my lawn become dry patches of dirt. At some point in this exceptional drought, watering was no longer an option. It was money down the hole since the subsoil was just too dry. I did my best to save our potted plants on the patio, but the rest of my yard took a direct hit. Only my cactus and native plant gardens came through the dry heat intact. What a lesson that was. I have plans to plant more native stuff in the future.

No, this summer was very stressful indeed. I had a number of medical test done from a blood work up to my heart and then to my colon. Each test brought visions of unthinkable horrors and results. I’m not much for doctors, hospitals, and procedures. I just don’t like to be put into a flimsy gown with no back and then poked and prodded, run on a treadmill, hooked to a dozen wires or scanned in a dark room all the while wondering what they are going to find. Well, thankfully the results were pretty good. I still have visits with my ophthalmologist and a dentist, but things look good so far. It just took a lot out of me.

My boss at the Alamo retired this summer and I was asked to take on some additional responsibilities for my new boss. Our Alamo director also retired this summer and several of my coworkers were let go. We finally have a new management team at work now. We have brought some new people on board. The sadness of seeing some old friends leave is tempered with the new faces, new opportunities and new ways of doing things. We seem to be coming through the transition just fine, but again it has taken its toll on me.

My wife has been very busy with her art exhibits, teaching and a commission she received for a local church this summer. She spent long, hot days in her studio and traveling to see her mother and brother in Ft. Worth. In addition, we have both worked hard on restoring her home studio this summer. That involved painting, building a work table and mounting display boards on the walls. Most of the work is finished and it looks good, but we are both exhausted at the end of the day. We miss not being able to sit out and have our glass of wine in the evening because of the heat.

This month is our 9th anniversary and we decided to take a few days and get away from it all. Lisa went online and found a nice little cabin up in the Texas Hill Country. We are going to pack some wine, some food, our CD player and some DVD’s from the library and head out. We can sit out and read all day or go hiking in the nearby state park. It sounds almost too good to be true.

Our lives get so filled with things we HAVE to do that we often forget the things we would LIKE to do. Sometimes we just have to stop and smell the roses as we take stock and count our many blessings.

Food for THOUGHT…

Let's Do Nothing

You know what? The hell with all the hand wringing, shouting, pushing and shoving over healthcare reform. Let’s just do nothing. Leave everything the way it is. Let the conservative fear mongers have their day. Let the insurance companies and pharmaceutical companies and all their high paid lobbyists do as they wish. Congress will knuckle under and probably pass some watered-down, worthless bill, regardless, and they will call it healthcare reform. Why bother?

I have insurance provided by my employer that covers me as long as I keep my job, but I can’t afford to add my wife. For her, we will have to try and keep a Blue Cross Blue Shield major medical policy with a $5,000 deductable and outrageous premiums and out of pockets. It is only good if she goes to the hospital. She can’t use it for check-ups or medicine. Last year her premiums increased three times. If there are any more increases, she may as well join the ranks of the uninsured and just hope and pray that she does not get sick like millions of other Americans.

If I should lose my job or change jobs, I’m “up the crick” anyway, because I now have a preexisting condition. I am a diabetic. Even if I could find coverage under another policy, it would be doubtful that I could afford the premiums. Without insurance, my medicine would become extremely expensive and doctor visits would be over $100. (No more $25 co-pays.) I’m sure the boys and girls from “The Party of NO” are right. True healthcare reform would just cost too much. We should save our money for defense spending and new weapons that are too expensive to use. We sure can’t afford a Public Healthcare Option, even if President Obama says he won’t sign the bill, if it cannot pay for itself. Everybody knows it would still cost taxpayers trillions of dollars and it would drive our private insurance companies out of business (horrors!)…just like government-run Medicare did. Remember Medicare? Besides, who wants government run healthcare with “death panels” that would pull the plug on Grandma, where everyone would be covered? There is just something wrong with that idea.

I think Americans should pay more for their prescription drugs than the rest of the world. Let our drug companies continue giving deep discounts to Canada, Mexico and Europe. And for sure, let’s enforce the laws that keep us from buying prescription drugs from those countries at a lower price. Somebody has to pay for all that research and development. It may as well be us taxpayers.

So what’s wrong with letting doctors invest in testing facilities? The more tests they order, the more money they make. Who cares if the tests make us healthier or not? If you are lucky enough to still be able to afford insurance, let insurance pay for it all. (Does anyone hear a ratchet sound regarding the cost of healthcare?) Medicine should be all about making as much money as you can. That is the American way! Remember, medicine is not about outcomes.

So, if most of us reach a point where we can no longer afford our insurance and we are finally cut off from the healthcare system as it is, life will get real simple and…cheap. No more premiums, no more co-pays, no more high deductibles or out of pockets, no more costly prescriptions. We will just grow old, get sick and…die. Those in Washington, who are now debating our healthcare reform, can just step back and keep what they have. You see, THEY are covered. The federal insurance, the fancy tests and expensive, lifesaving drugs and treatments will still be available…for THEM. We do not deserve healthcare! We are only tax-paying citizens. WE are expendable.

On that day, the insurance and pharmaceutical industries will finally be happy. They will at last get rid of all who are sick, have preexisting conditions and those who are poor. Finally, when most of us Americans die off or get too sick to work…oh, wait…

Never mind. Forget the part about doing nothing.

Food for THOUGHT…

The Politics of Fear

Congress has adjourned for its summer break. Their work on healthcare reform was left on hold while they go back to their states and districts to hold town hall meetings and get the pulse of the nation on their efforts. To their surprise, many of our Washington politicians have been met with organized groups who disrupt their meetings with shouts, pushing and shoving and name calling. They scream about Obama’s “Death Panel” and chant, “Just say NO!” For those of us who were hoping to get real healthcare reform passed by Congress it has been a disappointing turn of events.

Thanks to Sarah Palin, the former Republican Governor from Alaska (didn’t she just resign in midterm for some obscure reason?), the conservative right wing of the Republican Party, now have a rallying cry: “Death Panel.” To the relief of the insurance and pharmaceutical industries, they now have a way to scuttle all the hard work that has been done up to this point. As they did over the last eight years, they continue to use fear to achieve their agendas. Fear works! Just look at the faces of those protesters on television as they shout down anyone trying to explain the healthcare reform legislation before our congress. They have been scared to death with lies and misinformation and they don’t want a discussion. They want reform stopped dead in its tracks.” Keep things just the way they are” seems to be their message.

So where is this fear coming from and what lies are being spread to generate such uncivil reaction to something that should be welcomed by all Americans…healthcare reform? The top five lies are these:

1)President Obama wants to euthanize your grandma by using a “Death Panel.”

Truth: There is no “Death Panel” in the bill, but there is a provision, supported by the AARP and the AMA, to offer senior citizens access to a professional medical counselor who will provide information on preparing a living will and other issues facing older Americans. This counseling service is voluntary, not mandatory. Nobody is going to kill grandma, but individuals will have help with options and information so THEY can make their own decisions on care.

2)Democrats are going to outlaw private insurance and force you into a government plan.

Truth: Obama’s plan will create a ”Heath Insurance Exchange” that will create a one-stop marketplace for affordable, high-quality insurance options. One of those options will be a “Public Health Insurance Option” that will offer a nationwide plan with a broad network of providers. It will compete right alongside private insurance companies introducing competition into the market place driving up quality and driving down costs. If you are happy with your existing coverage and doctor, you can keep them, but the Public Option will offer expanded choices to millions of small businesses and individuals that simply cannot afford healthcare now. Coverage will no longer be denied because you get sick, lose your job or transfer jobs or have a preexisting condition.

3)President Obama wants to implement Soviet-style rationing.

Truth: Right now large corporations decide what coverage you may have, what doctors you can see and whether a particular procedure or medicine is covered. If that is not rationed care…what is? Healthcare reform will give families and businesses more choices for coverage and expand access to high quality healthcare.

4)Obama is secretly plotting to cut senior citizens’ Medicare benefits.

Truth: There will be cost savings coming from Medicare, but it will be coming from cutting billions of dollars in over payments to insurance companies and eliminating waste , fraud and abuse, all things unrelated to patient care.

5)Obama’s healthcare plan will bankrupt America.

Truth: Obama’s reform plans would be fully paid for over the next 10 years and not add a penny to the deficit. He has vowed to veto any plan that would increase the deficit. If we do nothing, spiraling insurance costs are projected to raise the average family premium to over $22,000/yr in the next decade. Each year nearly a million people face bankruptcy because of medical expenses.

If you want more information, check out this website:

www.whitehouse.gov/realitycheck/

Much of the shouting has been about “President Obama’s Healthcare Reform Plan” when in reality the plan is being hammered out and designed by Congress. You know, those guys we send to Washington to represent us. President Obama has given Congress these guidelines for healthcare reform:

• Reduce long-term growth of health care costs for businesses and government
• Protect families from bankruptcy or debt because of health care costs
• Guarantee choice of doctors and health plans
• Invest in prevention and wellness
• Improve patient safety and quality of care
• Assure affordable, quality health coverage for all Americans
• Maintain coverage when you change or lose your job
• End barriers to coverage for people with pre-existing medical conditions

Let’s see what our elected leaders bring President Obama for his signature. Will it get watered down to appease the insurance and pharmaceutical industries and other special interest groups or will it be the true healthcare reform this country needs? Will the fear mongers, hoping to discredit and depose this administration for their own partisan reasons, prevail? Is that what America deserves?


I suggest that We the People are better than the shouting, pushing, disruptive groups we now see on our TV screens at these town hall meetings. We deserve healthcare reform. Why should we continue with the most costly healthcare system in the world with one of the worst outcomes? What does the rest of the world know that we just don’t seem to get? We have the opportunity to improve the quality of life for all Americans, not just the privileged few. Will we hold our leaders to the task? Will we make it through the politics of fear?

Food for THOUGHT…

New Revelations - Part Three

The New Revelations: A Conversation with God by Neale Donald Walsch is a dangerous book. Depending on what you believe, what you have been taught, it may make you angry. It may scare the hell out of you or it may open your mind and expand your belief systems. It may also close your mind and entrench your current beliefs. Or it may confirm what you have always suspected. It made me wonder. It made me examine and explore what I believe and the meaning of God and Life.

Was God actually communicating with Neale Donald Walsch? Who knows? Does God still do that? Or did God stop handing down revelations with the Book of Revelations written by John at the end of the Bible. Or did God’s last words come to us from Mohammad’s conversation with God in a cave as written in the Quran? Perhaps God said all he had to say when he gave Moses the 10 Commandments up on the mountain. Are the sacred texts of the world’s major religions all we have to know…God? And of all the world religions, which one is the one true religion that human beings should follow? Which of the texts are the TRUE words of God?

In the book, God reveals Nine New Revelations to Neale Donald Walsch. God talks about a New Spirituality to transcend and expand our world religions. God challenges our old beliefs that no longer work, that no longer serve us and the evolution of human beings. So what are those New Revelations from God?

First New Revelation

God has never stopped communicating directly with human beings. God has been communicating with, and through, human beings from the beginning of time. God does so today.

Second New Revelation

Every human being is as special as every other human being who has ever lived, lives now, or ever will live. You are all Messengers. Every one of you. You are carrying a message to life about life every day. Every hour. Every moment.

Third New Revelation

No path to God is more direct than any other path. No religion is the “one true religion,” no people are “the chosen people,” and no prophet is the “greatest prophet.”

Fourth New Revelation

God needs nothing. God requires nothing in order to be happy. God is happiness itself. Therefore, God requires nothing of anyone or anything in the universe.

Fifth New Revelation

God is not a singular Super Being, living somewhere in the Universe or outside of it, having the same emotional needs and subject to the same emotional turmoil as humans. That Which Is God cannot be hurt or damaged in any way, and so, has no need to seek revenge or impose punishment.

Sixth New Revelation

All things are One Thing. There is only One Thing, and all things are part of the One Thing That Is.

Seventh New Revelation

There is no such thing as Right and Wrong. There is only What Works and What Does not Work, depending upon what it is that you seek to be, do, or have.

Eighth New Revelation

You are not your body. Who you are is limitless and without end.

Ninth New Revelation

You cannot die, and you will never be condemned to eternal damnation

So there you have the New Revelations from God given to and written down by Neal Donald Walsch. Some are very familiar and some might be considered blasphemous. I can only guess at the range of emotions they will trigger. I will say it again, this is a dangerous book. Human beings define themselves by their beliefs and even when those beliefs are false and no longer serve them, they find it hard to change a long held view of the world and their place in it. I am personally working through revelations # 6 and #7, but I found the book and Walsch’s back and forth dialogue with God most interesting and enlightening. I welcome your comments, especially if you were brave enough to read the book.

I offer this third and final part of the series as…

Food for THOUGHT…

New Revelations - Part Two

Our desire for world peace and harmony are being thwarted not only by our five fallacies about God, listed in Part One, but also by our fallacies about Life. In the book, The New Revelations A Conversation with God, God tells the author, Neale Donald Walsch, that there are five fallacies about Life. They are:

1) Human beings are separate from each other.
2) There is not enough of what human beings need to be happy.
3) To get the stuff of which there is not enough, human beings must compete with each other.
4) Some human beings are better than other human beings.
5) It is appropriate for human beings to resolve severe differences created by the other fallacies by killing each other.

Most of us see ourselves as unique living beings. Our world is all about our own happiness and our survival. We see ourselves as separate from other human beings. We observe that our very skin separates us from the world around us. I suggest that a good many of us are driven by what we see as good for us as this unique individual. Yes, we form bonds and friendships and we cooperate to get things done. We even share common beliefs and values, but in our heart of hearts we still view the world in terms of what is in it for ME. What does it all mean for ME? We have real trouble with the concept that each of us is intimately interconnected to each other, where the loss of even one of us diminishes the whole.

Many of us see the world in terms of things that make us happy or will make us happy. We are in the pursuit of getting as many of those THINGS as possible before we die. The problem is that we have this idea that there are not enough of these “goodies” out there for everyone. We need to grab and hoard as many things for ourselves, our family and friends and our nation as we can. Our world becomes all about competition where there are “have’s” and “have not’s.” We carry this idea of scarcity deep inside us. I’ve got mine! You go scramble for yours! If I worked hard for my well deserved “goodies” then why should I share them with others who did not work as hard as I did? There is not enough to go around.

In addition to this idea of scarcity, human beings have this need to feel better than or superior to other human beings. Even if you see yourself as a good person, a fair minded person, how many of us upon seeing homeless, street people look away and think how lucky we are not to be…them. We form groups with common beliefs, purpose and values. My group is better than, more worthy than that other group over there. Our beliefs, our values are better than other groups. We have more THINGS and those things give us more resources and more…POWER. We are better! I am better than…others. We judge and we act on this concept of superiority and scarcity.

Students of human history can surely see many examples of how the other fallacies of Life have led our species to the last of the fallacies of Life. Hitler felt that the Aryan Race was superior to others, especially the Jews. This belief led to World War II and the mass extermination of millions of men, women and children. A belief that some human beings are better than other human beings has brought about all kinds of atrocities, pain and death. A belief in superiority can lead to a belief that some human beings are less than human and can be disposed of or enslaved in lives of misery and poverty. At the very least, it allows us to deny some their civil rights and due process under the law. It allows us to discriminate.

Still, we scratch our heads and wonder why mankind has not been able to achieve peace and harmony on this planet. We see the edge of the Abyss and wonder how much time we have left to get it right. In New Revelations, God tells Walsch that there are five steps we can take right now to achieve the peace we seek. They are:

The Five Steps to Peace

1) You can choose to acknowledge that some of your old beliefs about God and about Life are no longer working.
2) You can choose to acknowledge that there is something you do not understand about God and about Life, the understanding of which will change everything.
3) You can choose to be willing for a new understanding of God and Life to now be brought forth, an understanding that could produce a new way of life on your planet.
4) You can choose to be courageous enough to explore and examine this new understanding, and, if it aligns with your inner truth and knowing, to enlarge your belief system to include it.
5) You can choose to live your lives as demonstrations of your highest and grandest beliefs, rather than as denials of them.

We act on what we BELIEVE, but if what we believe is flawed and does not work, if it no longer serves us, then we must be willing to examine our belief systems. Do they work or not? If they do not, are we willing to explore new thoughts and to change our beliefs? If we see ourselves as separate, unique and superior (or inferior) to each other then how can we ever hope to evolve to our greatest human potential? Will we continue to see ourselves as a single living cell in a giant void, or will we realize that we are part of a whole living body that works and functions as one being without end or limit?

In Part Three, I want to explore God’s NEW Revelations for us. Remember…this is a dangerous book!

Food for THOUGHT...

New Revelations - Part One

I just finished reading the book The New Revelations: A Conversation with God by Neale Donald Walsch. Some may be familiar with his earlier books, Conversations with God (Books 1 – 3), which brought the author to the attention of the reading public. The premise of these books and the many that followed is that Walsch invites God to have a conversation with him. He writes his questions down and God gives him answers and explanations which Walsch also writes down. This back and forth between God and the author has created enough material for some 22 or more books at present.

While Walsch’s questions seem to me to be inane and contrived at times, I found God’s replies certainly thought provoking and spiritually enlightening. But this is a dangerous book! It is dangerous because it will challenge deeply held beliefs about God, traditional religion and Life. I think I can safely say that there are Christians, Jews and Muslims that should not read this book. It will frighten them to the point that they will cry heresy, an abomination and will likely demand that the book be banned… if not burned. This is not the book for them… or is it?

Last year I wrote a THOUGHTS column about my “Vision Quest” and my search for spiritual meaning. I have read or listened to the work of Eckhart Tolle, Dr. Wayne Dyer, James Redfield, Deepak Chopra and many others in my quest for vision and Spiritual Truth. It required me to open my mind, to expand my long held beliefs about God, traditional religion and my place in the Universe. My religious training, culture and traditional beliefs about God, Heaven and Hell were ingrained in me, but they left me with serious questions. Religious dogma only convinced me that man did not understand something, something so fundamental, so important to our spiritual growth. The religious practices of excommunication, stoning and beheading for offenses against God never made sense to me. Who was this vengeful demanding… God?

In Walsch’s book, God lists “5 Fallacies About God.” They are:

1) You believe that God needs something.
2) You believe that God can fail to get what He needs.
3) You believe that God has separated you from Him because you have not given Him what He needs.
4) You believe that God still needs what He needs so badly that God now requires you, from your separated position, to give it to Him.
5) You believe that God will destroy you if you do not meet His requirements.

Despite my religious teaching, training, indoctrination and the well meaning assurances of friends and even family … MY God was not the vengeful, demanding, judgmental deity of the old Testament in the Bible, quick to damn you to the fires of Hell for your transgressions. No, MY God was Abba, Daddy, Father…Mother who lifted me up when I fell. MY God held me when I was hurt or afraid. I talked to MY god as I walked in the woods and listened to His Presence in the wind. MY God did not require me to blow myself up in a crowded market place to get to be with Him in Paradise. MY God was a God of Love and forgiving beyond all understanding.

God tells Neal Donald Walsch that it is our fallacies about God that have led us to this point in time where world peace seems so elusive and our destruction so certain. Human beings are at a crossroads in our evolution as a species. We must come to a NEW understanding about God, Life and who we really are. We are ready to know that our old beliefs no longer serve us. Our old view of the world and our place in it no longer works.

In Part 2, I wish to explore these THOUGHTS further. For now consider this …

Food for THOUGHT…

Life on the Edge

Sometimes I feel like I’m living life on the edge. Life is full of so many twists and turns and yet we negotiate our paths on a tightrope. If we lean too far one way or the other, we fall off into the Abyss. One misstep could lead to our doom, yet stopping and standing still is not an option. Life calls us forward whether we want to go or not.

Recently, I had a checkup and my EKG caused my doctor some concern. He sent me to a cardiologist who sent me for some very expensive tests that could determine if I had serious heart problems. The outcome of this series of tests would determine if my life could go on as it had or would change dramatically, irreversibly for the worse. The outcome of these tests became a knife edge of reality, MY reality. Not knowing was no longer an option. It was a door I could not go around. It loomed large before me. I had to open it and walk through it.

In the weeks prior to the tests, my fears took hold of me like sudden gusts of wind. I struggled with my “balance pole” to keep my feet steady and thereby avoid the fall into the void. If the tests went one way, I might have to quit my job and undergo expensive hospitalization, surgery and a lifetime of medication to stay alive. Without a job I would have no insurance to pay for all the modern medicine that could sustain me. Even if I could find insurance… could I afford it? My fears whispered that we would lose our house and our life savings. Lisa might have to give up her artist lifestyle and go back to the corporate world in order to sustain my life at the ruination of hers. Could our marriage survive the stress? Would I be left sick, debt ridden and alone? My fears were definitely working overtime on my brain.

Since Lisa and I made our move to San Antonio, over 4 years ago, we have rebuilt our lives. Each of us has realized many or our hopes and dreams for our future together. We love our lives as they have unfolded down here. Watching Lisa grow and develop as an artist in her own right has been amazing. I have enjoyed my work at the Alamo, which allowed one of my dreams to come true. I published a beautiful book about the Alamo. Our wonderful house and yard have provided me with endless projects to satisfy the “gardener” and “handyman” in me. The thought of losing it all was overwhelming me.

Lisa refused to let my dark thoughts be expressed. She would not hear them because she worried that if they were expressed, I would attract that outcome. (We create our own reality.) We worked on positive affirmations and thoughts to crowd out the negative fears that were always there…waiting to pounce. I began keeping my fears to myself which left me quiet and withdrawn at times. Part of me kept saying that if the results were not good, I still had to have a plan of attack. How would I deal with the news? No matter how I struggled, it kept coming back that it was REAL and it was happening to… ME. I was walking on the edge of knowing. It was my tightrope.

The day before the tests, I wrote down all of my fears on a piece of paper and folded it. I then wrote down all of my positive affirmations on another piece of paper. In our home, Lisa and I have this ceramic elephant. We put our hopes, dreams and visions into the elephant jar to send them out to the Universe. In a small ceremony, I put my positive affirmations into the elephant and we burned the fears in a bowl to release them…to let them go.

The day after the tests, the clinic called and notified me that my results were normal. Life goes on.

Food for THOUGHT…

Good-bye Mary!

When Lisa and I bought our house on a corner lot almost 4 years ago, our only next door neighbor was a tiny, elderly woman by the name of Mary. We shared a fence in our back yard. Lisa and I quickly became the “good neighbors,” as she called us, because the neighbor on the other side of her yard was a troublemaker since he was a kid. He went to prison. We took the time to talk to her over the fence.

When Mary would call us over for a chat by the fence, we knew it would be a while before we could go back to whatever we were doing. Mary loved to talk about her long dead husband, Teddy, and her son Buddy, who was an engineer that used to work over in Nigeria. That’s Africa, you know! She never failed to let us know that Teddy worked for the Credit Union. We would listen to her talk about her husband, her many homes and her children again and again. And of course there were her beloved NBA Champions, the San Antonio Spurs. If they were playing and winning…we heard about it!

Mary was close to 90 years old when we moved to our new house in 2005. She lived alone and most amazing, she still drove her car to the grocery store and the beauty shop. Her son Buddy and his girlfriend would drive up from Rockport, Texas about every other weekend to mow her yard and help around the house. Over time, we were introduced to her other grown children and their spouses. On warm summer afternoons we could hear the laughter and good natured arguing from Mary’s patio which was visible from our Kitchen window. Her son and two daughters were in their sixties, I guess, but they looked after their “momma” and enjoyed their visits with her.

Mary had to stop driving about a year and a half ago. Buddy began making more frequent trips to help his mother. Her daughter would come over in the afternoons and they would sit outside on the patio. Many times they would call me over to the fence for a chat. Did I know that Teddy used to work for the Credit Union? She would repeat her now familiar stories I could tell she still missed her husband after all these years.

This spring, Lisa and I noticed Mary was unsteady on her feet and she was looking pale and tired. Did we know she was almost 94? Teddy used to work for the Credit Union, don’t you know. We wondered how long she would be able to live on her own. About a month ago, her family came together for her 94th birthday. Lisa was home that day and said that Mary looked better and happier than she had seen her in a long while. A week later, she called her daughter about “a parade that was coming through her backyard.” Then she fell. Lisa saw Mary as the paramedics carried her from her house and placed her into the ambulance.

Buddy would keep us updated on Mary when he was at the house and working in the yard. She had a urinary infection, but she was being treated for it. The big problem was that she was not eating. Buddy would tell us she wanted to know how the “good neighbors” were doing. We made plans to go see her in the hospital, but they were getting ready to move her to a nursing home near her daughter, so we waited.

Today, Buddy came with the sad news that his mother had passed away. Mary had finally given up to go be with her beloved, Teddy. Mary, who had welcomed us to the neighborhood almost 4 years ago, was gone. She would not be coming back, not even for one last look around. At some point, we will have new neighbors and we wonder…will they be, like Mary, our “good neighbor?”

Food for THOUGHT…

National Healthcare

There is so much fear and anger about President Obama’s call for healthcare reform in this country. The “Party of No & Status Quo” wants us to believe that things are just fine. No need to change a thing. Doctors in large practices with vested interests in expensive test equipment businesses are doing just fine. Drug manufacturers who pass on their cost of research and development to American consumers so they can offer discount prices to the rest of the world could not be better. Large insurance companies that can raise their premiums at will, “cherry pick” those customers with the least risk and exclude ones with preexisting conditions are doing very well. What’s to change? They are happy with the way things are. Big business is happy. Why rock the boat?

It will cost the taxpayers billions! And do we want the federal government running our healthcare? Look at the countries that have government run healthcare, like Canada and England. Hell, we have enough problems with doctors getting paid for current Medicare and Medicaid patients! We have heard it all before…all the problems, all the fear, all the reasons why we can’t provide affordable healthcare in one of the greatest countries of the world.

I say, how can we NOT provide affordable healthcare for our citizens? Our congressmen and senators have one of the best healthcare plans in the world, yet they choke at the thought of spending billions on healthcare for the rest of us. They can pass bills to fund two wars on the other side of the world. They give billions of dollars to bailout the banks, AIG, GM and Chrysler but when it comes to the rest of us…let the free market prevail. Let us be at the mercy of the large health insurance corporations and their cherry picking. Let us pay the highest price for life-saving medicine that the rest of the world gets for only a fraction of the cost. Let the hospital costs of those who cannot afford insurance continue to be passed on to our hospital bills and the cost of our care. Leave us to the profit-driven practitioners and big business in a system that no longer works for most Americans living from paycheck to paycheck. The rich and powerful will always have their healthcare, but as for the rest of us, we are one major illness, one more premium increase away from disaster. We cannot go on with such a broken system.

As I understand it, President Obama’s plan would put in place a Public Healthcare Option at an affordable premium. It would compete with (not eliminate) private insurance plans. There would be no exclusions for preexisting conditions, no “cherry picking” and it would be available even if you just lost your job (unlike COBRA insurance which is expensive and only lasts for 18 months). His plan would have the ability to negotiate much better prices with the big drug companies. He would help fund this plan by reducing the cost of overhead (no highly paid CEO’s with golden parachutes) and administration of paperwork by using uniform electronic forms and filing. Doctors would be rewarded for the outcome of each patient’s health, not by the number of tests they can prescribe (whether needed or not).

Yes, we can keep the system we have…or we can make it better, more competitive, more efficient and more affordable. Find out what’s going on and contact your congressmen and senators. This may be our last chance to get real healthcare reform. The time is NOW.

FOOD for THOUGHT...

Same Sex Marriage

I grew-up in a time of TV shows like: Father Knows Best, Leave it to Beaver and Ozzie and Harriet. All I knew was the picture of a traditional marriage. There was a dad who went off to work and a mom who stayed home, kept house, raised the children and baked cookies. That’s the way it has been for thousands of years, a husband (male) and a wife (female) in a committed relationship. The purpose of that relationship, defined as marriage, was to be fruitful and multiply according to the Bible and other religious texts from around the world. It was God’s plan for us when we grew-up and became adults. One man and one woman would find each other, fall in love, marry and have children. That’s the way it has always been and should always be. I accepted that.

As I got older, I discovered that people got married for a lot of different reasons other than love and to have children. In fact, growing up in the 60’s, the free love generation of Woodstock, I learned that men and women didn’t even have to be married to have children. Many women were living as single moms, with children out of wedlock or as a result of one or more divorces. The fathers were out starting new families or creating more single moms. The traditional view of marriage was starting to disappear, leaving some very controversial hybrids in its place. Our concern over the institution and sanctity of marriage was growing, especially among the religious, conservatives of this country.

What I observed was that people were still getting married (or seeking to marry) but now the model and the purpose of marriage were changing in some cases. These committed relationships were no longer exclusively between one man and one woman, but now we were seeing men and women pairing off in same sex couples and wanting to raise children as a family. It seemed completely against the NATURE of things. It was against God’s will. By religion and tradition, marriages had to be between a man and a women or they could not be fruitful and multiply and carry on the human species. Same sex couples could not biologically produce offspring so what would be the purpose in allowing them to marry?

There arose a ground-swell of opposition by well-meaning, but fearful, men and women in their traditional heterosexual marriages to this “alarming trend” in our society. Many saw it as a further breakdown of our country’s moral foundation, much as it must have seemed in the Deep South, before segregation was outlawed, when many states passed laws to prevent interracial marriage. God forbid we should have a mixing of the races! Today, the cry has become God forbid two people of the same sex seeking to be married. It must not happen. So laws are being passed and debated on both sides of the issue in each state and across the nation. The definition and the very sanctity of the institution are at stake. It has become a fearful issue that further divides and hurts many Americans.

It is interesting that in Nature, a certain percentage of different populations in the human and animal world display homosexual behavior, a preference for, an attraction to the same sex. Now why is that, especially in the Animal world? Are humans and animals born that way or did they just decide to be different and go against the Laws of Nature? Does it even matter?

So, if some men and women are born that way, find each other and fall in love and want to marry and be in a committed relationship and, God forbid, want to raise children in a stable home with two loving parents…is there harm in this? Should we pass laws that only one man and one woman can be married for the express purpose of procreation of the species as it says in the Bible? If so, I suggest that a whole lot of heterosexual couples would also find themselves in violation of such laws. What about the couple who marry after the age of childbearing? What about the couple who do not want children? What about the couple who have trouble conceiving children? Should we ban them, too? Should we pass laws that deny these couples the rights and protections of a lawful marriage? Are they any less capable of adopting, parenting and caring for children than same sex couples in a committed relationship?

There are some who might say, well okay, same sex couples can have a “civil union” that will give them most of the rights of heterosexual married couples, but DO NOT call it marriage. Marriage is a sacred union in a church before God. But it seems to me that marriage is a combination of not only civil rights and protections but has a deeply spiritual component as well. Would we still deny same sex couples this spiritual component to their loving and committed relationship by only allowing civil unions at City Hall? Can we know that their bonds are any less deep or deserving than that between a man and a woman? Those who come from a religious faith and a tradition that sees same sex unions as perverse, an abomination, have every right to deny such unions from THEIR church, THEIR congregation, THEIR religion. They have that right. But I suggest that there are still many churches with a belief in the same God that would and do welcome such marriages with or without the protections of a civil union.

As a middle-aged man with two grown children and a wife who loves me and cherishes our marriage, I have come to change my view about marriage and who should be allowed to marry. We do not live in an Ozzie and Harriet world, if in fact we ever did. The world today is filled with “drive-by pregnancies” and casual “one night stands” that leave poverty and crime in their wake. Why not honor and welcome those who seek a loving and committed relationship regardless of their sex?

If I were God, I think I would want to know the couples’ hearts…rather than their gender.

FOOD for THOUGHT...

On Seeing a Cardiologist

I’m a diabetic. I have accepted that fact, but for almost two years diet, exercise and medication have lowered and stabilized my blood sugar. My last two doctor visits have betrayed me with a steady increase, a rise in my average blood sugar readings. My A1C score (average over 90 days) went from 6.1 to 6.7, not alarming but a significant change. My current medication had lowered my A1C score to 6.0 from a score of 8.9 when I was first diagnosed. Now, my own Excel charts and graphs were showing an increase. My average blood sugar readings were starting to rise again.

An A1C score of 6.0 is considered normal. With that score, I believed I was normal again! With some effort, a change in lifestyle and medication I allowed myself to believe that I had a handle on this disease and perhaps it would just go away, disappear. What I had not accepted is that what I have is a real disease. It is a progressive disease and as my doctor pointed out to me, in my last visit, I will at some point need to consider changing my medication. He explained that medications lose their effectiveness over time. Diabetes affects not only blood sugar, but that, in turn, will eventually affect my kidneys and my heart. Medication, diet and exercise can help hold off this damage, but the disease and its effect on my body will always be there until the day I die. I had to understand that I was not normal. I was successfully fighting a chronic disease, a disease that won’t just go away some day.

I had also been experiencing the sensation of rapid heartbeats and palpitations since my last doctor visit, so he did an EKG on my heart and compared it against my base line EKG taken earlier. There was something that had changed so he gave me a referral to a cardiologist to check it out. My appointment will be in a few days. My doctor said it may be nothing. I have a strong heartbeat, but then again…it may be something. It may be something that will require more medication, more tests and more treatment. It may be something that will make me more dependent on medicine, doctors and the need to have insurance coverage to pay for it all. (Better not lose my job!) I don’t like feeling dependent.

I don’t like the idea of something being inevitable. I am struggling against this idea of something being out of my control. There is a part of me that believes each of us has the ability to heal ourselves. Our bodies have everything it needs to reverse our abuse, our illness and heal. I am struggling with my fears of what if… And yes, we are all going to die…someday…of something. We just don’t know…when or what. Still, I’m struggling with my fears. I want to believe that my heart is still healthy and strong! Part of me wants to know if it IS something and part of me does not. Part of me wants to just go on and not think about being vulnerable to this fragile shell that seems to crumble more and more with the passing of time.

When I was a child, the worst health concern I had was if I was going to get a shot at my next visit to the doctor. Now, I wonder what part of my body will betray me next. I wonder if my insurance will cover the cost of medicine, treatment or an operation. What will be the quality of my life? I am struggling here damn it!

But aren’t we all? Stay tuned.

FOOD for THOUGHT...

Forwarded E-mails

I find it so interesting how many friends and relatives forward e-mails that are so full of misinformation, distortions and flat out lies. They pass them on because of course they must be true. They are on the Internet! Even when I take the time to check out the story on Snopes.com, they often refuse to accept the e-mail as false.

I wonder how many of these things keep getting cycled and recycled around the internet. Each time we get one of these a little part of our brain wants to believe it is true or might be true. If we are bombarded with a falsehood enough times and told it is true, we slowly start to believe it.

Hmmm…

There will be peace and prosperity in the world again. We will save the planet. We will respect the dignity of all mankind regardless of race, gender, religion, party affiliation or sexual orientation. We will join hands, liberal and conservative, roll up our sleeves and get to work to make things better. (pass it on to at least 10 people within 5 minutes of reading this and you will have unbelievable good luck.)

FOOD for THOUGHT...

My Reply to the RNC

Republican National Committee
310 First Street, Southeast
Washington, D.C. 20003
Attn: Randy Pullen, Treasurer

Dear Randy,

I was surprised to get your letter (after all these years) asking for my support. Yes, I did vote for Richard Nixon and Ronald Regan and even George Bush (the father, not the son) the first time he ran. What a wonderful memory you folks at the RNC must have! I must confess that I was honored that you considered me a “grassroots supporter,” a “grassroots leader” and a “grassroots activist.” (My you certainly like that word!)

Your concern that I may have left the Republican Party was both confusing and troubling. It was confusing because I have voted with the “other side” for over 18 years now and troubling because I hate the thought of losing your high esteem after all those kind words about me in your letter. I guess there is no other way to gently break it to you than to just say it. I am one of those “commie, bedwetting, bleeding-heart, left-wing, tax and spend, godless liberals” now. Oh, I know the shock and horror of it all! How could I go over to the “other side?” Randy, just calm yourself a moment and I’ll try to explain.

American politics has gotten too bitter and vitriolic over the years. While the “Other Team” has not been and is not perfect, as a voter I only have two viable parties to choose from. I have watched the Republican Party embrace the Religious Right and Big Business. I have seen it become a party of mean spirited intolerance, focusing on single issues that divide rather than unite this country. I have seen the party become a party of FEAR wrapped in the American Flag to the exclusion of all who do not conform or fit into its extreme right-wing agenda. Under President Bush (the son, not the father) the Party embraced the small group of New World Order NEOCONS bent on changing the rest of the World to their narrow view. We lost many friends and allies over the last 8 years because of the “our way or the highway” policies. Our standing and respect in the World dropped to an all time low with their embrace of torture and refusal to honor international treaties and conventions.

Randy, my friend, America is changing. We have many different views, backgrounds and colors. We are not all god-fearing, white, patriarchal, heterosexual, Anglo-Saxon Christians. America has always been a melting pot where the ingredients change. What has not changed is America’s love of freedom and hope for a better life for us and our children. We need hope, Randy, not fear and division. We need a party that can identify with the needs and dreams of the majority of Americans in the center, not just the special interest “haves” to the exclusion of the “have-nots.”

I don’t like to admit it, but the “other side” does not have all the answers either. They can be just as vindictive and divisive as the Republicans. We need answers and leadership that will take our country into the next century with new ideas and new ways of doing things. Both parties may have to go the way of the dinosaurs if they do not find a way to bipartisan cooperation and real solutions beyond political posturing and bickering and trying to destroy each other.

If the Republican Party can find its way back to Middle America, stop being the “Party of No” and offer constructive bipartisan solutions, then you may have my support. Until then, let’s just be friends.

FOOD for THOUGHT...

Steve Ortman

Greetings from the RNC

The other day I got a letter from Randy Pullen, the Treasurer for the RNC (Republican National Committee), and he said he didn’t want to “believe that I had abandoned the Republican Party.” He went on to say that “our records show we have not received your 2009 Republican National Committee membership renewal contribution.” The letter was very official looking with the “Republican National Committee” emblazoned at the top and an “RNC Membership Confirmation” section at the bottom below the instructions to: Detach Here. The Membership Confirmation began with: “Dear Randy, you can count on me.”

For a moment, I almost thought I had been transported back in time. Why yes, I believe I did vote for Richard Nixon in the 70’s and Ronald Reagan in the 80’s. In fact, I think I even voted for George Bush (the father, not the son) the first time he ran for office. Yes, I guess you could say I was a Republican at that time in my life and I marveled at Mr. Pullen’s memory.

I was further amazed (and flattered) when Mr. Pullen, Randy, went on to say that the Party’s success depended on “grassroots supporters” (he underlined that part) like me. It seems that the only thing standing in the way of “Obama/Pelosi/Reid Democrats” was me…and the RNC. Randy and the RNC were counting on my generous support as a “grassroots leader” (wow, I got upgraded from a supporter to a leader) to grow and strengthen the Party for the critical 2009-2010 elections.

Finally, Randy ended his impassioned letter with a P.S. “The RNC needs the support of every Republican grassroots activist (now I’m an activist?) to meet the challenges that lie ahead.” I sat for a moment and re-read the letter. Yes, my name and the correct address were on the letter. It was no mistake. Randy and the RNC were asking me for help. They were asking me for money to help further the Republican cause. For a whole nanosecond I was deeply conflicted. How could I tell this man, this Treasurer of the RNC, that I actually voted for the very man who ended 8 long years of George Bush (the son, not the father)?

I decided to sit down and write that nice young man a letter. I would try to break the news gently. Perhaps I would not even mention that I voted for Bill Clinton…twice. It might be too much for Randy. I mean his letter sounded so desperate at the end. He considered me a “grassroots” supporter, a leader and even an activist for God’s sake. How could I crush his hopes and dreams like a paper cup? Finally, I thought I might offer one last bit of advice…update your computer database?

FOOD for THOUGHT...

Flashbacks

I’m only about two and a half years away from turning 60 years old and lately I find myself wondering where the time has gone. I’ve been having these flashbacks, playing back scenes from my life. With each flashback, I am transported back in time, usually to a specific time and place, like Kurt Vonnegut’s character in Slaughterhouse Five.

Flashback…

I am only about 4 years old. I’m in a sandbox playing with a neighbor’s kid. All of a sudden, he pulls out a hammer and hits me in the head. I wake up in the veterinarian’s office next door. My mom is there and she is crying. I am wondering why I am there and why the kid would hit me in the head with a hammer.

Flashback…

This time I am around 5 years old. There is a knock on the door of our apartment. A man is standing there. He says, “Hi! I’m Dick Ortman. Is your mother there?” How could I know then that he would marry my mom and that he would adopt me and give me his last name? How could I know that he would move us to a chicken farm and that I’d have a brother and a sister in time? He is just a stranger on the other side of the door.

Flashback…

Now, I am around 10 years old. It’s my birthday and my friend Joey spent the night and we are playing cowboys in the yard. Dad kept our Shetland ponies in the front yard of our old farmhouse and I decide to jump up on our stallion, King, from behind just like they do it in the movies. I get a running start and land on the pony’s back. King calmly stops munching the grass, turns his head around and bites me on the thigh. I slide off the pony and run crying into the house. King went back to mowing our front lawn.

Flashback…

This time it is winter. I am 15 years old. My mom, Dick Ortman and my younger brother and sister are getting ready to move from our old farm to the suburbs of Chicago. I take my sled and make one last ride across the patch of ice between the house and the farm buildings. I roll off the sled before it hits the other side and embrace the ice one last time. Then it was time to go.

Flashback…

It is summer. I am 17 and returning my girlfriend, Doreen, to her home on a winding suburban street that drops steeply to a cross street beyond. As we stand by my car, another car without any lights rolls silently past us. My two best friends, Bill and JR, are seated on the trunk facing backwards. Bill looks over and politely says, “Good evening,” as they roll past my car and proceed down the hill. I watch as Bill jumps down, runs alongside the car and dives into the driver’s side window and hits the brakes just before he reaches the house near the intersection at the bottom.

And so it goes, these moments from my life... graduations, marriages, births and deaths. Time seems to pass much too quickly the older I get. Thank god for…flashbacks.

FOOD for THOUGHT...